Fat.

You know it's time to lose weight when you drop your chapstick under the bed and try to think of other things to pick up while you're down there.
And while you're under there you get stuck.

But you manage to unwedge yourself and get out, but now your stomach is aching in places, and so is your rotator(sp?) cuff.
And this is a good reminder:
You're not only fat, you're old too.